Technological development plays an undeniable role in modern times. We see it in almost every facet of our culture—transportation, business, communication, etc. One of such aspects that has stirred much controversy among people would be how we receive news and information from the outer world. In a nation founded upon transferring data from one another by means of newspapers, books, and magazines, it isn’t surprising that some still hold a conservative view in this regard. The article Is Google Making us Stupid? touches on this topic as well as various other components of the digital age and their effect on people. In it, Nicholas Car evaluates this effect and balances the many pros and cons that come with it.
The new wave of technological development and the usage of it as a medium through which one may educate himself is by all means a contentious issue. The internet is often attacked for being a commercial enterprise through which one may acquire knowledge while at the same time be subjected to endless advertising. Although, yes, the web does in fact harbor a great deal of commercial outlet, many people tend to overlook the many benefits it offers in comparison with books and newspapers. Never have people been given a source that is so readily accessible to various kinds of news from the outer world. The internet has proven itself to be an immensely reliable medium for finding even the most particular and specific types of data—something which any type of print, whether it be magazine articles or encyclopedias, could never grant. If one were to, hypothetically speaking, want to know the normal climate in Buenos Aires, Argentina, or the time in Oslo, Norway, or maybe the population of South Dakota, all it takes is one Google search. Whereas in an atlas, one would have to search throughout it with some considerable patience.
The United States is a nation well-known for its progression in a vast array of different topics. For the most part, such progression has been restricted in its means of being broadcasted to the rest of the world by some form of print. However, with the onset of an unprecedented age of technological development, it is time to move on from our old standards and pursue the more innovative and promising road of the internet.
Tommy,
ReplyDeleteThis sample certainly needs to draw on the ideas of the other authors; however, it shows a unique and thoughtful voice. In the second paragraph, the concrete example creates the richest paragraph.
I suggest that you continue working on concision. The first paragraph includes this phrase, "founded upon transferring data from one another by means of." Could this be simplified? Communicating, perhaps? What was your intention with "transferring data"?
Pay attention to the key words here and how you are defining them. For instance, what does "innovation" mean to you? And review sentences that could be more specific; this one is far too general: "The United States is a nation well-known for its progression in a vast array of different topics."
You did peak my interest, though, but I need to see your voice in conversation with others.
My best,
Cheryl
Small point: here you would not use the hypen: "nation well-known." Use "well-known" when used as an adjective, i.e. the well-known nation.